My daughter

Picture this, mama…

You are at the park with your kids and the sun is setting, but before it does it shines a light so bright on your daughter as she hangs from the jungle gym, her hair almost as wild as her smile. You pause in this moment that slightly takes your breath away, and you have so many thoughts and wishes… Wishes to do it over. Not really, because every moment brought you to here with these wonderful little beings, but maybe there’s somethings I’d do over. I would’ve taken that trip, said yes to that date, made that phone call. Then you realize, your daughter has all of that ahead of her. You panic, not only at the expanse of what’s in front of her, but also at the idea of her making the same ‘mistakes’ you did, not taking the same chances you didn’t take. This scares you, because if there’s anything I want to instill in my daughter in the 18 short years that I have her it’s to do ‘it’ anyways, even if you’re afraid. That there will never be the right time to take that chance, live for yourself, not to appease those around you. You are worth everything and anything, don’t let anyone tell you any differently. Take the chance, do the thing, take the trip. Don’t talk yourself out of it, and don’t let others talk you out of it either.

Then, she slips on the last ring of the jungle gym and falls down hard on her knees. She looks up with those big brown eyes filling with tears, that say ‘how could you let me fall? Why didn’t you stop me from hurting myself?’ And you would have, if you could have, but it happened so fast. It all happens so fast. And just like that, you realize that this is how it’s going to be. You are going to try so hard to make sure she doesn’t make the same mistakes you did, but those mistakes need to happen, those knees need to be scraped, and she needs to make her own path. You won’t be able to protect her from everything, and you won’t be able to help her take the ‘right’ path, because we’re not in control. We are along for the ride. So if anything, you’ll teach her how to give up control and hang on for the ride, and follow her heart.